The Dog Ate My Homework

“The dog ate my homework.” What kid hasn’t tried that on a new or inexperienced teacher? It’s easier than saying, “I watched tv instead of doing my homework.”

I don’t have a dog. I have a cat. Charlie does not eat paper; he tears up newspapers. At the end of the week I put the old tv program down on the tile floor, and he attacks it, shredding it with his sharp little claws. Just newspapers. He does not eat computer paper. On the other hand, I have not offered him anything to eat. For months I have not printed anything off the computer for him to read and disdain.

When people are ashamed, they make excuses. You have done it. I’ve done it. It is hard to admit when we have done or said something we regret.
In March I set up a blog, planning to write about many, many things, dozens of ideas in my head. But now it is the middle of July, and I have not posted a second article.
I have lots of excuses.

• Excuse No. 1: My kidneys. They are only working 20%. That makes me anemic, and that makes me tired. Too listless to do anything but watch tv. Okay, but every month I get expensive shots to boost my hemoglobin. (I’ll write a blog about that one day.)
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• Excuse No. 2: I’m bipolar. Maybe I’m in a Depression. But I take medication to control that. (Subject for another blog.) Still, some things happened to upset me . . . maybe that’s why I’m so “down.” Except when I stir myself to get out of the house; then I feel fine.
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• Excuse No. 3: I’ve had houseguests: Dan and Jean from Independence, MO. and, a week later, Margaret and Jack from Houston . To prepare for their visits, I moved into the small bedroom, with its twin bed, so the couples could have the double bed in my room. I took down my clothes from one closet to another, emptied dresser drawers, and put my tooth brush and pills in the other bathroom. Of course, I washed sheets and struggled putting the fitted sheets on both beds – a strain on my bad arm, (Subject for another blog: “How Much Stuff Does a Person Need?”). I enjoyed my visitors – they entertained me – I forgot to feel tired. (Another blog idea: Friends)
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• Excuse No. 4: My brother George came and stayed for two weeks. He was sick and needed someone to take care of him. He was NOT a good guest. He worried about the results of a biopsy, complained of constipation, and cried, “Why me?” He would not exercise. He lay in bed all day, asking me to bring him glasses of water. He argued with me about everything. He always was cantankerous, but it was frustrating to try to help him, as he refused to cooperate.

At Baylor Medical Center in downtown Dallas, the specialist told George, “It’s a miracle! The last biopsy shows your leukemia is in total remission! Go back to Fort Worth and see your doctor there.”

I thought George would jump for joy. Instead, he collapsed, said he was two weak to go home. He refused to get out of bed, refused to eat. He said, “Since I am cured, I can do what I want to do, just as I’ve been doing all my life.” (i.e. sleep until noon, eat nothing but cheeseburgers, and go to topless bars.) Finally, after another week at my house, he went home and hired a woman to come in four hours a day to baby him. Now he is doing fine.

Two subjects for blogs: “How to deal with difficult relatives” and “Taking Care of Caregivers.”
No more excuses. I didn’t write blogs because I spent too much time watching “Dr. Phil” and “Cops.” I’ll try to pull myself together and write those blogs and some others: “Why children don’t understand their mothers.” “Misunderstandings at home and abroad.” “Why I’m glad I’m not Amish.” . . . . and several other topics.

Don’t check this blog every day. What I want to do right now is get in my car, go out, and have FUN!