What's in a Name?

What’s in a name? “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

My friend Alice seems bothered by unusual names. She asked about my brother Preston, who is hospitalized with his fourth reoccurrence of leukemia (possibly a result of Agent Orange exposure in Vietnam). He’s in remission again, thank you, and may be going home soon. Alice said, “I never heard the name Preston.”

Then she added, “There is that man at the senior center – you know, Melva’s husband.”

“Ethan,” I said.

“I never heard the name Ethan,” Alice said.

“Preston and Ethan are English names,” I told her. Not common names, like Tom and Jim, but not too unusual for English-speaking people.

Alice is really Alicia. Her parents came to the U.S. from Mexico. She was born in the small town of Yoakum, near Victoria, Texas. Spanish is her primary language, and her life today is a mixture of Mexican and American cultures. She named one of her daughters “Jane”, but day-to-day she cooks beans and corn. When family comes from out-of-town, she makes enchiladas.


Alice said, “I never heard the name “Ilene”. I know someone else named “Ilene”. I know two people named “Ilene”.” As if we were the only two in the World with that name.

I did not explain to Alice that the name is Irish and the usual spelling is “Eileen”.

At a book signing, I said my name and handed the book to the author, who immediately started to write, “to Eil–.” “Oh, no!” I cried, “That’s not the way I spell it.” With disgust, she thrust the spoiled book aside and inscribed another one for me. I was embarrassed, but I learned my lesson.

When I am talking on the phone, such as looking for auto insurance or making a doctor’s appointment (old people frequently get referrals from one doctor to another, requiring a hassle of calls and paperwork), and someone asks for my name, I always say, “I will spell both names.” Besides Ilene, I also have a difficult last name. I use my maiden name as a writer, but for business I use my husband’s nine letter, unpronounceable (by Texans) Polish name.

When I am wearing a name tag, often someone comments on the spelling. I explain, “I was named for my mother’s best friend, and she was named for her mother’s best friend. They were all Texans, and Texans can’t spell.”

Non-Texans laugh. Texans don’t.