Margaret

My birth certificate says “Margaret Ilene Pattie.” My mother had two best friends. Ilene Timmerman was one. The other was Margaret Huff, who lived next door in a big white Victorian house with gingerbread trimming on the veranda. The two were bridesmaids when my mother and father were married in the living room of my grandmother’s house. Although Baptists do not have godparents, Margaret and Ilene both kept in touch and helped me throughout my life.

My father had a cousin named “Margaret Pattie.” She was also my mother’s friend and lived nearby. The family decided – well, it was probably my grandmother, who determined everything – that the neighborhood did not need two Margaret Patties. So I was always called “Ilene”.

This caused confusion through the years. My teachers called me “Ilene”, but I registered in school as “Margaret Ilene.” This was the name on the marriage license and on bank accounts and deeds when I married and added another name. As I came out of the anesthesia after my first child was born, I heard the nurse saying, “Wake up, Margaret.” She patted me on the cheek and repeated, “Wake up, Margaret.” I wondered, “Where is this Margaret she’s talking to?”

By 1987 both Margaret Huff and Ilene Timmerman were dead and I was embroiled in a lawsuit with that man I was married to for 27 years. In court at the final settlement, I asked the judge to change my name legally to “Ilene Pattie”. He granted my request, and six weeks later I married John and changed my name again!

“Margaret” now meant a dear friend. Although we seldom saw each other in the 50 plus years after we graduated from college, a group of friends always maintained contact. Margaret was one of the best. She and her husband repeatedly welcomed me into their home. One time I descended on them in London and stayed for two weeks. They entertained me royally – such as taking me to an elegant lunch at the Tate and to the theater at Convent Garden (where Eliza Doolittle sold violets) – and asked me to come back!

Sadly, Margaret died suddenly a week before she was to come to my 80th birthday party. We were friends for more than 60 years. I am one among many who miss her.