'Twas the Night Before Christmas

I am frantic. A bipolar woman, manic and threatening to dump into depression. Too much to do, and too little time.

Christmas eve tomorrow, and a dozen cards still to be addressed. If I get letters written and tucked into their envelopes, I have no more stamps.

I love getting Christmas cards with letters inside. Especially since I can no longer travel, I look forward to hearing from friends, especially those who live far away and those I’ve known for many years. It is nice to know we are still alive.

The least I can do is respond.

Should I get in the car and drive to the neighborhood post office? The line of people waiting to mail packages overseas always snakes around the counter and keeps me waiting for 30 minutes.

I’ll wait, juggling my purse from shoulder to shoulder and thinking about all the things I should be doing. I posted only one blog since the first of the month. For a lady who is living in a retirement community and does not cook, wash dishes, or clean house, why am I so busy?

Who cares?

It is time to say, “STOP!”

I’ll sit in the recliner with Charlie on my lap and practice deep breathing. If I can’t find anything to watch on television, I’ll turn on the radio to WRR and listen to Christmas music.

I’ll rejoice as the choir proclaims, “Hark the herald angels sing.” I am on the side of the angel who sang, “Peace and good will towards mankind.” That angel was talking about all men (and women), including Baptists, Presbyterians, Lutherans, Catholics, Jews, and Muslims. Let’s add the Buddhists. They are good people, too.

I am not a church-goer any more. I don’t agree with people who say, “You are a sinner. Become a Christian or go to Hell!” I would rather be a follower of the Jesus who welcomed the thief and the woman caught in adultery and who told the parable of the Good Samaritan.

Tomorrow I will invite to join me anyone who, like me, does not have family here. We’ll make sandwiches and eat cookies (store-bought; I don’t bake). We’ll drink hot cider and toast each other with “Happy Holidays” or “Merry Christmas.” Whatever. Either way is fine with me.

In 2010 I’ll mail letters and cards to my friends and say, “I still love you, even if it is not Christmas.”

And to you, whoever you are, I wish you a happy holiday. Let's all pray that 2010 brings us closer to peace and good will towards all men.