It happened again: When life seems so frustrating that I drop into Depression, something makes me so happy I feel manic.
This year I can not get into the Christmas spirit. I love getting cards, hearing from old friends near and far. It lifts my spirits to know they think of me, as I think of them. To remember all the good times we shared. I’ve had cards and stamps for over a month but have not addressed any.
My little artificial Christmas tree sits on the round table beside my living room window, but the big cardboard box of ornaments has sat packed and unopened on my coffee table for over a week.
With dialysis three days a week, I can’t travel. I have memories: Paris, Rome, London, St. Petersburg, Bangkok, Beijing, Copenhagen, and many, many other places I will never see again. Even worse is to think of friends I never again will meet face to face. I would love to go to New Mexico, or even to Houston and Galveston. Can’t.
We celebrated joyful Christmases when my children were small: baking cookies, Danish sandwiches on Christmas eve, going to midnight services and all kneeling together to sing “Silent Night” (Wally and Karl tone-deaf and singing monotones), 12 little packages in each stocking to make merry for all 12 days of Christmas. Now my children are far away, Martha’s family in Illinois, David’s in California. I should be accustomed to being without them on holidays, but I’m not.
I will have Christmas at the retirement home with others who also will be alone. Doris, Sylvia, Bob, and I will “make a merry little Christmas” together. They are all good friends and good company. Our cook promises a feast of turkey and ham on Christmas Day.
Then comes a wonderful surprise. Martha called last night. She has a week’s vacation between Christmas and New Year’s. She is going to leave husband Don and their three boys to cope without her for a five days and come to see me! I am filled with joy! I’ll get to work and put those ornaments on the tree!
Here’s hoping the holidays will bring you wonderful surprises, too.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
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1 comment:
I'm very happy to hear Martha is heading your way! I hope you too have many fine adventures.
I'm still in a daze from work. Have done next to nothing to prepare for the Holiday. This afternoon I picked up the downstairs. It took several hours. Tomorrow I might actually start cleaning.
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