Who Should Not Go to College

I kept thinking about what Maggi said about young people: “They don’t all need to go to college.”

I remember my friend Bill Park.  He was a over six-feet tall, a handsome, gray-haired, a “manly” man, and he was gay.  A neighbor took me to meet him at his home, where we sat in the living room of his  “ranch-style”house on Albuquerque’s western mesa with a magnificent view of the Sandia Mountains.

Bill’s partner of more than twenty years had died, and Bill asked me how I handled my grief after my husband John died..

This tall, strong man had tears in his eyes as he said, “I miss him so much.”

I said, “There is no right or wrong way to grieve.  For a couple of months I couldn’t stay home.  I found meetings and programs where I went so I would not have to spend an evening in the house where John died. Other people do not leave the house for weeks after they lose a loved one; they need to cry, and I understand their need for privacy.  Each person has to find their own way.”

Then I added, “I am no longer grieving for John, but I still miss him.  I think I always will.”  John died in January, 1992, and every day I think about the joy he brought to my life.

It is fifteen years since I met Bill Park.  We became good friends.  On the stage at the University of New Mexico, we saw a local production of “La Cage au Fou”.  Bill laughed -- a big, hearty “Whoop!” — at the actors portraying a gay couple who adopted a “straight” son. 

Bill took me to lunch at a top Italian restaurant.  I loved the lasagna; but after trying a few forks of his expensive spaghetti, Bill pushed the plate away.  “Not to my taste,” he said.  Afterwards we went back to his house, where we spent many afternoons discussing all sorts of things – news events, politics, religion, books we’d read. Bill bought best sellers, which he loaned to me. 

One day I asked him, “When did you know you were gay?”

Bill said, “As long as I can remember.”

What has all this to do with education?

Bill’s family disowned him for being gay.  Bill was rich.  His partner was dead.  He was happy in his modest house with its great view.  We were good friends, but I had no need for anything but companionship. Bill found a special way to use his fortune.

Bill told me, “There are plenty of scholarships for kids  who go to college.  What we need is more plumbers and electricians.”  Bill set up a foundation.  Any graduate of an Albuquerque high school who wants to train for a job in a trade can have tuition at the Technical Vocational Institute paid for with Bill’s money.


I wish every city had someone like Bill Park.

Not every young person is born with the mental ability to succeed in college.  My grandson Joe is one of these; he wanted to become an engineer like his older brothers, but he could never pass trigonometry. He likes to build things.  He will become a valued member of our society. 

People like Joe are the backbone of our country.  Most of us do not go to college   All the clever inventions and techniques discovered by people like Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, and Steve Jobs would be useless without skillful people who learned to use their inventions. It is the hard-work of “ordinary people” which has made the U.S.A. the greatest country in the World.