Meeting Nancy

What can I say about Nancy? Quite a lot. For two weeks, since her daughter wrote to tell me she died, I tried to sort out my feelings about this long-time friend.

I met Nancy soon after I was divorced. She sat across the table at the support group which met in an upstairs room at the First Congregational Church in Downers Grove, Illinois. A slim, neatly dressed woman, with dyed red bangs above a skillfully made-up, heart-shaped face, she joined enthusiastically in all the discussions.

Nancy was a 60-year-old woman who thought she looked 45 and acted like a wide-eyed teenager. Through the years I was alternately annoyed and then admired the way she faced situations. Divorced, she believed by making herself physically attractive she would find love.

She was always immaculately dressed with a scarf or a bow at the throat to hide the wrinkles in her neck. Her makeup was perfect, and she slept with huge rollers on her head to maintain a flattering coiffeur, with little bangs to conceal any lines in her forehead.

Nancy still wore the same size l0 as when she was a college girl during World War II, dancing with young officers from the nearby air base. That was before the Army Air Corps separated to become the Air Force; in Nancy’s mind she was still that young, vibrant 20-year-old.

She loved good food but ate sparingly. After I’d spent the night with her, she would greet me with a smiling face. (Just what I needed first thing in the morning!) She would say, “Look what I have for us!” and show me a little carton of fresh strawberries or raspberries. Then she would carefully spoon out three strawberries or four raspberries to top my corn flakes.

Was she deluded in thinking she could stave off old age by all this effort trying to look young? For her it was the right thing to do. She enjoyed every aspect of life until she reached her 85th birthday. She taught me that I didn’t need a whole bowl of strawberries, to simply enjoy each, single little bite.

We were friends for 30 years. I need several blogs to tell more about my friend Nancy.