What Do You Know?

An old woman told me, “I know all about Europe.  My husband and I took a two-week tour and saw six countries.  We had a wonderful tour guide who told us about each place we visited.” 

Of course she knows nothing about Europe.  She could learn more watching television than she did looking out the window of a bus as a young man droned on about “Look left” or “Look right to see a fine example of 18th Century architecture.”

After spending a week in Paris with David, I came away thinking, “I don’t know anything about the city or the people who live there.”

I pictured Paris from reading Georges Simenon’s murder mysteries.  I imagined the city as Simenon’s Inspector Maigret and his wife strolled the boulevards after supper.  Then I read about the author.  Besides being a strange fellow -- an oversexed egoist – Simenon was not even a Parisian!  He was a Belgian who lived in Switzerland!  

I returned to Paris six times.  I visited and revisited the churches, museums, and monuments.  I still do not “know” the city.  I do not have any friends who live there.

I promised to tell you more about my daughter Martha.  What do I know of her life? 

She and her husband live in Illinois.  Just before their first son was born, John Durkalski and I were married and moved to New Mexico.   For the past 24 years my daughter and I have lived a thousand miles apart.   

Martha’s husband, Don Schumann, has master’s degrees in electrical engineering and computer.  They live in Naperville, Illinois, in an exclusive neighborhood in a house with a three-car garage and with an airplane hanger in their backyard.

Martha and Don have three boys.  I’ve taken them on Elderhostels, spending a week alone with each boy in an attempt to get to know my grandsons. (Like knowing Europe after one of those 12-day, 10 country tours.)   This year I was thrilled when Martha’s oldest, Doug, instead of partying with other college kids, spent his spring break in Texas with Grandma. .

When Martha was in her late 30's she went back to school.  She became a C.P.A. and is now U.S. tax accountant for an international company.  Last year, after a visit to the home office in Switzerland, she went back to Norway to visit her “family” there.  She is still going to school and has almost completed a master’s degree in accounting.   

This June was a banner month for the Schumann family.  Their oldest, Doug, graduated from Southern Illinois University with a degree in electrical engineering.  Richard played his cello in a concert in Chicago, where he is an engineering student at the University of Illinois.  Joe or “J. J.” graduated from high school and was awarded his pin as an Eagle Scout.

Isn’t this a picture of a perfect American family?  I am proud of my daughter’s family, but . . . . I barely know them.

This year Martha and Don celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary without even going out to dinner.  “Too busy.”   I hope they “take time to smell the roses.”   That’s all I can do: just hope.